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finally, one day of rest.... sigh, working is becoming a dread, day after day, doing things that is just so irritatingly irritating. i tend to fidget most of the time and is really punctual when it's time for break. i really wonder how am i going to spend the rest of my life desk-bound. even when i'm out at client's place, i tend to stand and do my work. i'm so dead, is there any job that doesn't require me to stay still? haiz, i can just dream on? yeah....

woke up at 1130 am today, and got a shock. have not have the luxury of staying in late for a while. was at the power house last night, the music was nice, better than mos. guess that i can never be a clubbing gal, can't really enjoy it totally. just can't get into the mind of people who do enjoy it. haha. however, observing the nightlife in singapore once in a while kind of make me feel that i'm not so stuck in my world of normalcy.

once again, could not help but think about stuff, guess that, most of us often do think about things, it's only whether we bother to air our thoughts. feeling rather relaxed nowadays, with a sense of newfound freedom, that i'm not being restricted, bounded or even have the obligation towards anything. this feeling would not last for long, however, i shall enjoy it while it last. everything has an expiry date, and, my freedom, it will, but i will find it again... =)

i think, i'm done with trying to maintain a friendship, or even normal working relationships. hate the young sometimes, there is definitely a generation gap, and i don't even understand why am i doing so much, perhaps, i pity u, and i let it bother me. well, i hate not being able to speak my mind towards anything, i hate being restricted just because of the presence of certain people, well, screw u, i'm not going to try anymore. whatever sympathy i have, it's gone... =)

sigh, work=no time. many things i want to do, stuff i want arrange, yet, i'm being restricted by work, which, i have to be restricted even more in future. however, one good thing is that i can daydream. haha.... oops, it's our secret... =)

have u ever wondered how it feels to be loved so much, yet expecting nothing in return. for the receipient of this love, it's free, however, for the person giving this love, it comes at a high cost. i have been at both ends before, and, it's a burden. the reason that i mentioned this is that ps has let me think about things. haha, just can't help but muse at my own situation.

love, which gal doesn't one to be in it. which gal doesn't want to be protected, to trust, to have the security of someone, the fact that u know u have someone by your side wherever u want. kind of tired, that i have to constantly look out for myself. however, happy, that i do not have to commit towards anything. how do u strike this balance? the grass seems to be always greener on the other side, but is it really? at what cost, sometimes, people pay when they are in a couple. haha, i'm cynical. well, so long, i guess, it comes, it comes.

Dear God, the faith to love, believe and trust You, has deepened. Thank you.

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i've been not so active on the internet life recently.... work, tv and sleep do occupy me a lot... can't understand sometimes, have been sleeping much more than i used to, even more than when i go to sch, yet i can't help but want to sleep all the time.... recently, things have been getting rather stressful, doing things that i don't really comprehend.... darn, and i hate feeling helpless... anyway, have resolved that, it's really none of my business, i'm not staying in the company anyway... haha...

something happened in the office today which puts me in a foul mood. somehow, i feel that i'm responsible for a senior being reprimanded. however, circumstances are not what it seems and that my supervisor has put both of in such a situation that results in it? hopefully, can put my unhappiness aside and just continue working.... sigh....

going to sleep soon! blog more soon!

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the war i have with blogger is such a strange and interesting phenomenem. just when i start a new one, the old one is workable... still in a dilemna whether to have a new one or just continue with this.... give it a couple of days, and see if i can let go... i don't let go easily, haha, so i'll just go back in future? anyway, time heals all wounds, perhaps, it's not so hard to let go after all...

work is busy and tiring... i don't find it challenging, perhaps, there is no time constraint, as when i was at kpmg. i keep feeling that i'm on the go all the time, and, with that, i feel really motivated to complete the job. however, i don't feel it now, at sometimes, i really feel like screaming, where is the urgency?? perhaps, a smaller firm has lesser projects and fewer deadlines, i'll just have to get used to it? i'm really strange. when i find life boring, i try to find challenges, sometimes, creating problems just so life will not be that monotonous.... and when life is busy, i always wish for it to go away. perhaps, when i'm busy, i usually am with the things i don't like.

today, the client mentioned something really striking. yes, when u do something that u don't like, u don't often do as well as something that u like. even in most people who do really well, something is still lacking, unless u really have the motivation i guess....

watched bridge to terabitha (think it's spelt like this but i'm lazy to check) yesterday with wx, hq and hm! haha, it's a nice show, just lacking in more dreamlike scenes.... but it was fun catching up!!! =)

ok! work! haiz.... 9 more weeks, it'll pass...

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this is definitely a ridiculous way to start a new blog, but it is something, well, not a bad thing either... something's wrong with blogger!! i can't get to start blogging with my current blog... damn! however, it's a new start i guess, with the internship and all....!

sprained my back on wednesday.... it's the second time. i guess, it's better than the first time as i did at least put some medicine on it... haha.... the sad thing is i can't exercise for a while.... i'm getting much too fat for my own good!! oh no, i have to lose weight, perhaps, really have to exercise after work and all....!

tomorrow is the start of PA. kind of nervous, it's very unlike the first time when i have to work at KPMG. perhaps, at that time, kind of naive, unsure of anything, just going to an organisation with an open mind. right now, with more knowledge, it's supposed to calm me down, it's having the adverse effect... haha.... perhaps, been doing too much damage to my self-esteem for a while, in the very academic environment i'm in... what to do? just cope with it i guess.... i have this attitude of barging into anything and everything with an open mind, just do my best and take whatever that comes... if only, i don't have to think so much of office politics and grading... haha.... went to the website to take a look, it sort of calm me down... the manager looks friendly... haha... hopefully, everything will go on smoothly and well!!!! =)

it's nice to be able to blog down my thoughts finally, blogger, pls get well soon.... =)