sometimes, things just happen without me expecting it. the consequences, are not that hard to grapple with, it's just, a hindrance that is unnecessary. i just wish that, for once, they would understand us. not through their eyes, but our eyes. we have never been made to feel wanted at home, so, why would we do everything that u asked of us willingly? u've made your own bed, now, lie on it. don't judge our reactions through your authoritative eyes. yes, u can be mad at me, u are my father after all, and i can't control your emotions. but what makes u think that i'm gonna allow u to rant at me unfairly. u can choose to say something, so can i. it's expected that i don't agree with u, and i'm very straightfoward, i say the truth, and if u can't face up to it, that's your own problem, not mine. don't start a quarrel with me and expect me to listen to u. u can't accept the fact that i'm an adult, then that's your problem not mine.

i don't want to be rude to u. but at the hour of midnight, when i was feeling very sleepy, with some chores to do, and having the thought that i have to wake up at 615am the next day, i was, not in a good mood. and following the incident on sunday, don't expect me to listen to your ranting. why must u rant when u come home everytime? i work longer hours than u, and i don't complain. u are the who is complaining, i'm just stating facts.

i'm really tired. u want to chase me out of the house, i want to get out too. but can u accept it? i feel trapped, in a place that i don't feel wanted. u know, i just don't want to hear anymore rantings. give and take. i will not be rude to u, if u just stop ranting u know. peace and quiet when i reach home after 11pm. stop ranting yar?

i sound calm now. yes i am. i will never forget a father who doesn't turn up at my convocation. i will never forget a father who says he doesn't want to take part in my grad photo.

i will also remember a father who is at my operation 3 years ago, a father who stayed with me throughout my stay in hospital, a father who held my hand at that time, telling me to be brave. i will remember a father who read books to me when i was young.

why are things so different now? did he not grow up when we did? or did we not show enough understanding towards him?

accept it? be nice to him? but he'll never change u see? we have changed, but he never will. i want the old father back. i don't think i will get it. we compromise, but he never did.