today is US election day. Hope that Obama wins! McCain reminds me of the old geezers that had been running the US. It's time for some changes to be made! Especially to the foreign policy. Wish that there would be more peace around the world. Wishful thinking? Definitely. lesser fighting would be welcomed though...

caught HSM awhile ago. wow, being young is definitely something that i miss. doing stupid things like falling in love, having little worries, and simply just having fun thinking that the whole world is laid out for u. oh manz, i miss that feeling.... sighs, time can't go back, and i have to start thinking of grown-up things. it's irritating, because, some of the stuff, i can do without thinking. like paying my bills, planning my future career path and of course, finding a life partner.

right now, planning my future career path is at the top of my list. i know what i want, yet, i'm afraid to persue it. damn it, why must i be so tied down by these things, like, missing my family, being ostracised by a new environment, adapting to a new country, what job can i find overseas. but these are things that people get used to it over time. just hope that i have the courage to step out and plan it. perhaps, when things are in motion, i'll be less likely to be undecided and have the courage to step forward. another 6 months, and i'll start looking. damn the less promising economy now. be turning 23 soon. not getting any younger but older, and if i don't start planning, i'll be 30 soon, going nowhere near to fulfilling my dreams.

and my piano career, sighs, let's not talk about it, even though it's on my mind all the time. perhaps, i should just shelve if temporaily for 5 years. sighs. i don't want to give it up!!!

my bills --- it's going well, hope to pay it off soon!!

sighs, i'm tired about talking about this issue, but it seems like the easiest things to talk to your colleagues about, other than work. oh wells. since i have the intention to talk about it, here goes. i have always wondered why do people who are similar to me, doesn't really appeal to me. in work, in love. in work, i find people who are similar to me in behaviour and personality, i can't bear to speak to them. oops. haha, perhaps, i should start disliking myself? but NO! i love myself too much...! it's the same for anyone, and that makes me wonder, how do people find love? i can't possibly find someone that's like the total opposite from me? and i do enjoy talking to u, doing stuff together, but somehow, it's just wow for me and not WOOHOO!! YEAH MANZ! DAMN IT FEELS SO GOOD! at this point in time, it's not easy to relate to another person. and on an intellectual i have not find someone of the opposite sex who can yet. haha. i sound like i think of myself too high on a level. but yes, i do like people who have brains instead of brains full of themselves. and yes, many are like that.

still the same old conclusion, see how it goes. and does that equals to sending out the wrong signals? somehow, i'm past caring about that. even though i think i hurt someone before, but oh wells, he brought it on himself. haha, yes, i'm evil, but if i'm not, i'll hurt myself. and why should i?

tired. of. work. but its life, i just need to get used to it. sighs....