timetable blues... i can think of a million and one reasons to take a minor and also another million and one reasons not to take. if only i can find it in me the energy to fight for it. have sent in my appeal and am waiting for it. somehow, i'm already resigned to whatever fate that awaits me and also happily accepting that i have a 3-day week. oh sighs...

life is indeed very unpredictable. sometimes, i feel very helpless at situations and the only thing that i can do is to lend a listening ear. and i hope that it is enough. take care dear, hope life will be bearable for u soon...

school has officially opened. i'm going through the motions and routines faithfully. but, why can't i find in me the sparkle to interact with people, the motivation to do well. i'm already throwing in the towel internally without trying. i'm just doing what i have to do, without feeling like doing it. well, the comforting thing is that i actually don't mind doing it, even though i'm already numb towards any satisfaction i may or may not get. perhaps, it's all about getting used to things...

hope that i can sleep tonight. sleep has not come easy for the past few days. damn.

a day after my birthday. here's to all who wished me a happy birthday! thanks for remembering. in order of messages (haha)... aunt eleanor, unclelemon, yoke, jiaying, wanling, hui min, jiaming, jieling, candy, geraldine, aunt bee lian, yanzhen, mischelle, szee ying and angelina. the belated messages, thanks too! aunt yen peng and yi ming. thank you all :) i had a memorable bday yesterday with my twin sis, we caught a movie and had this lovely jap food lunch cum dinner and of course, shopping!

recently, i managed to complete all the books i borrowed from the library, very overdued books. haha. all are very interesting books which captured my attention, perhaps, i've never read storybooks for a long time. must start reading soon, otherwise my brain will go dead. haha. must stop playing computer games!

oh well, i might just have to live with a 5 day week. and the best of it, the last semester of my school life that i have to have a 5 day week. sighs. :( see how it goes, if i managed to get my module at all....

feeling hungry right now. control, i must lose weight! cny is coming!

i'm turning 22 tomorrow. people usually say let's hope we mature by then and face life with a renowned sense of purpose. somehow, i don't really want to grow up anymore, i have more or less grown up to a certain extent. this is to say, i don't look forward to getting older. more pressures, more expectations, more responsibilities. all these point towards committment(of any kind), which i hate. oh well, that really sums up my birthday. but i'm looking forward to spending bday with my twin sis :)

suddenly, the whole idea of couples seem to have magnify, especially with the year 1s (after blog-hopping). well, i would like to get attached when i was in year 1, however, after an unpleasant experience, and some serious soul-searching, it doesn't seem as important as before. there are many things that we can appreciate besides having another half. it all seems so tiring, loving someone without any gurantees, showing (horrors of horrors) committment and wasting time going out (oops). haha, perhaps, when i'm ready, i'm ready...

to u: take care alright. talk to me anytime. time will heal all wounds (sounds cliche, but it's really true)

i hope to feel more geared up for school. have to get rid of feeling simply sianz all the time. sighs.

i don't know why am i thinking about u again. is it a case of regretting after experiencing loss? i have no idea. once again, i find myself, trying to find out information about you. i miss you much more than i care to admit. and i don't want to justify what is the meaning behind this missing you part, i don't even know what it means. what i do know is that, i'm trying to find excuses to talk to u, perhaps, i just hate knowing that i'm truely misplaced, displaced and replaced.

today is a good day! =) went jogging with ps! it's been along time since i've ran on the track. it's good to see her after so long! =) stay strong dear.... i know you can make it no matter what happens....

school is starting soon. sigh, why do i feel that the holidays has only just started?