it has been quite a trumatic week.... piano wasn't the usual relief that i feel. i guess, miscommunication can be a deadly wound at all times. oh well, i decide to give the benefit of doubt to the prinicpal. i do not wish to question her motives. i do not wish to question my suspicions. i do not wish to question my loyalty and dedication to my students. i do not wish to think. till the next "hoo-ha" comes, i shall refuse to think and ponder about other options.

sighs. i hate practicality. where's the innocence of just teaching all the students. i guess, all i wanted was to challenge myself to bring out the potential in my students. promising students, i want to bring out the challenge in them. however, i guess, i will lose the opportunity soon. perhaps, from my student's perspective, it'll be better for them to find a new teacher? i don't know. all i know is that i try my best to improve. to build up on my knowledge. i don't know if it's enough. but i'm trying, and till now, i don't think that i've failed any of them. argh. hate it.

sometimes, i just wish that life is simple, really simple.

sighs, i need to lose weight. hate the me that i see in the mirror. argh. i swore to lose weight by CNY!! argh!