it has been quite a trumatic week.... piano wasn't the usual relief that i feel. i guess, miscommunication can be a deadly wound at all times. oh well, i decide to give the benefit of doubt to the prinicpal. i do not wish to question her motives. i do not wish to question my suspicions. i do not wish to question my loyalty and dedication to my students. i do not wish to think. till the next "hoo-ha" comes, i shall refuse to think and ponder about other options.

sighs. i hate practicality. where's the innocence of just teaching all the students. i guess, all i wanted was to challenge myself to bring out the potential in my students. promising students, i want to bring out the challenge in them. however, i guess, i will lose the opportunity soon. perhaps, from my student's perspective, it'll be better for them to find a new teacher? i don't know. all i know is that i try my best to improve. to build up on my knowledge. i don't know if it's enough. but i'm trying, and till now, i don't think that i've failed any of them. argh. hate it.

sometimes, i just wish that life is simple, really simple.

sighs, i need to lose weight. hate the me that i see in the mirror. argh. i swore to lose weight by CNY!! argh!

i'm bored.... tax so far, performing the simple computations, it's not that difficult, what's more with piror year to follow. sighs... the 2 "seniors" are not around, and i have nothing much to do. it'll be exciting when i realise that i may be charging too much to personal time. oh wells, i'll decide when it comes to that. bored....

met up with g ytd:) it's always nice to know how your classmates are doing. well, in the sense, one may be comparing whether one is on par with the person of our age. most of my classmates are becoming teachers. haha. seems that it's quite a good industry to go into. stable career, consistent pay... oh wells, predictability is also quite nice i guess. instead of being in the corporate industry, where many happenings daily is not predictable. i like teaching. didn't realise that i enjoy it. i enjoy interacting with my students, finding out how they have turned into, the kind of youngsters walking in our society, :) at least it adds value to my life. feeling a sense of satisfaction when i see my students do well, or overcoming their fear.

sometimes, when people are too pracitcal, it affects me too. i have to keep reminding myself that not everyone is like me, that they can give up comforts of their life to achieve satisfaction. perhaps the basic needs of monetary needs are not met. that's why. oh wells, each to his/her own. i guess, when one is happy with their life, that's all that matters? i'm happy that we still share freely, but guess that i can understand her much better and that makes it easier to talk to her. hope that things turn out well for her :)

the company is a scary place, really scary. seems like u come in with a big bang but leave without anyone knowing. rubbish...

should i or should i not? feel like though. think i'm gonna give it a try and see how things goes.... :)

meanwhile, i have an important task at hand. trying to look busy.