recently, our relationship has its ups and downs. more downs though. i think i'm trying to grapple with feelings of unrequited actions. it is undeniable that after some time, relationships do hit a plateau. certainly, expectations has to be rewritten and reorganised. however, it is just so difficult sometimes, when your heart tells u something, your mind says another, and your actions prove otherwise. 3 way that doesn't match.

i guess, i hate it when assumptions are made after a period of time together. both of us assuming that we know what the other party are thinking, making decisions based on just that. it hurts, because, i thought that i would not be what my parents are. are relationships' results inevitable in that way? routine and humdrum?

sighs, hate myself for the way i behave sometimes. trying not to be too violent and unreasonable, but sometimes its so difficult. hope that i don't have a violent streak in me.

work is getting boring. sighs....

sighs... communication with ppl can be so tiring sometimes....

thanks juan for the nice biscuits! shall enjoy it for my breakfast! it's nice meeting and talking to u again!!

everytime when i log in to blogger, i will be greeted by the blogs i have some time or another... i realise that this blog is aptly titled... haha, a brand new start of things of any sorts... many things to look forward to recently... tmr, i'm going to make my first major investment!! my new flat with tbb! hopefully, we are able to select the one that we want...

sighs, today is not a good day... just feel so lethargic at work! think it's because of many facebook games playing! haha, it's really very addictive, since i have not used the com for some time!! i can get my laptop this weekend! so happy!! hopefully, i will not lose track of my sleep... will try not to be late!! oops....

my boos is very nice to me. hope it lasts. i rather have a pleasant albeit polite boss-subordinate relationship, than one that is very close which results in ugly incidents happening in future. sighs, luckily, my dept is very small... not a lot of people that i have to mind about... haha...

sighs, i wonder, who is sadder. the female or the male? i really wonder... i have nth much to add, just that, would things be different if they are allow to pursue what they want. or is it too much for me to be judgemental? i don't wish to judge, but i can't help feeling sorry for my own kind. sighs... it's situations such as this that render me helpless... should u help so that they can each get their own happiness? or, they are already happy, perhaps? who can tell....

have been surfing net as usually while working.. been looking at alot of dresses... preparing for my choice of gowns for wedding day/photoshoots/etc. been kind of worried about my choice of bridal package from Signoria Nuziale. however, have been reading different wedding blogs, and now feel comforted with my choice. i guess, making a decision of such magnitude can be intimidating and scary...

was talking to tbb ytd... i guess, have never really been comfortable in the limelight. having ppl fussing over my clothes, make-up, hairdo... it just seems so invading... haha, guess, have to get used to it during my wedding preparation.... sighs.... hopefully, things can be settled soon so that i can rest at home during the weekends... know that i have been going out almost everyday, my mom is going to kill me... sighs, so many commitments...

attended a very interesting wedding ytd... feel kind of saddened by it... i guess, it's really sad if the parents and children has a distance. bystanders don't really understand the historics of the relationship, but it's still just very sad.... and i guess, making insensitive remarks by one's own relatives during the wedding is very hurtful....

tbb and i must really lose weight... sighs, many people keep commenting... it's so stressful and hurting :( see how it goes....

sianz, feel so sleepy and slacky! hope to slack for the rest of the day but i think not....!

it's a hectic week. my first closing, seems quite ok when the figures tie. still feeling blur about things though. must try to get used to the accounts language. must reinforce my knowledge! sighs, if only i don't feel sleepy all the time....

trying to juggle piano and work. it's easier in audit, when there's no week day piano. feel so tired easily... argh! maybe it's me getting older and my body is screaming out to me. U NEED REST. haha... see how it goes... about my future regarding my career, still not sure of what i want yet. this manager seems easy to work with, at least she doesn't scold people in the face. better learning environment for me at least. compared to YL, whom i will remember forever. the managers in the audit environment is so stuck up and unapproachable. everything must be kept at a professional distance. lack of interaction and communication is what makes the life so unbearable...

planning for a wedding is fun! yet, busy! there seems to be many things to consider!! sighs, to have a beautiful wedding, one must have lots of money. sighs, if only i can do what i want without considering the cost, then i can take lots of beautiful photos!! haha... hopefully, this can be settled soon so that i can start to lose weight. i hope... haha...

politics in singapore... haha, don't feel like integrating myself in the online debate. i can argue both sides of the coin. but then again, i can't say if i'm pro-PAP or not. :P hope that george yeo becomes the president though!!

sighs.... want to lose weight!