sometimes it's really disappointing how people behave. perhaps, on our part, we shouldn't have force, but still.... sighs... i didn't know you very well but still, just wonder is it my "privilege" to see this side of you? actually something i rather do without

but still, it's good to see that others are doing well.

exams are coming.

so is my overseas trip.

let's clear them one by one.

sometimes, it's really easy to tell from one's behaviour. i have given up already. it's really tiring to go from having expectations to realising that it's all rubbish. from the show of why why love, if there's no expectations, means there's no hope. maybe i should just start living by this motto, or have i not already?

tired. tired of starting to feel tied down once again. sigh, i don't understand why u always have that effect of me. trying not to think that u are using me, yet it is so hard not to. perhaps, it really is just a coincidence that circumstances are always such that.

trying to find the motivation to understand complex concepts, do my homework, go to class. and yet, it is not there....

finally, all the quizzes are over for now.... i have not had so many quizzes in my entire uni life except for this semester. studying studying and studying. hopefully, i can pass today's quiz, but not completely sure that i can. sighs. the only thing that i can look forward to is not to fail that badly i guess.

still about school stuff, my presentation question for audit is out. sighs. more interactions with smart people again. it doesn't affect me as much as before, just that i hope to be able to study for my subjects and go to class peacefully without feeling so aargh!!

things are good now, really good :)

i don't know, i really don't know. i seem to think about you more often then not nowadays. it is even more so after i've seen you. however, it will die down the next day till i see you the next time. i don't think that i've fallen for you but just the kind of happiness that is hard to describe. however, i'm wondering if i'm suppressing what i can feel just because i'm afraid. anyway, i'm leaving everything for God to decide. not that affected by it yet, which i don't think i will unless you do something, which i know you will not. haha. don't really want any hinderance while i'm studying for now.... :)

it's really heart-warming when my students take the initiative to share part of their lives with me. it's even more heart-warming when the quiet ones even take the initiative to talk to me about their school lives. it's even more heart-warming when a new student trusts u completely to talk to u about their lives without asking. that is when i believe i have make a little difference in their lives. most important of all, i just want them to achieve their potential in piano playing... :)

sigh. i hate to thing about this issue. damn. don't understand why this issue will subconsciously creep into my thoughts... GO AWAY! I DON'T NEED YOU! God, I believe in You.