pre-exam

the world is really a practical one. in order to get something, we must give something back. it's been a long time that i've seen a situation where the giving is voluntary. perhaps, this is a little extreme. sometimes, the other person just wants to return the favour. in reality, nothing is ever free. the cynical me always want to seek for perfection, and when i can't, cynicism overtakes me, and i'm left to speculate on the selfishness of human beings. this culture and mindset has been repeated into my mind since young. and, i've never stop to think of whether is this right or wrong? i've just been taught to repay anything given, not to take anything for free. but, is the world really like this? i wonder....

have you ever been really disappointed in a person? this often happens when expectations have been building up by you towards a person. whenever we tell ourselves not to develop expectations towards another, we have already broken this rule. i'm glad, that, i have no more chance to be disappointed in you anymore.

exams are really just around the corner. hopefully, this time, can do much better than previous semesters. i want to give myself a chance to do well, at least, see how much i can go by putting in the effort. i have to learn to work under pressure, instead of running away as i often do. it's really a bad habit. i will admit defeat if i don't do well, at least, i have achieved my potential? haha.

sometimes, i just wish that the wound in my heart will close once and for all. by nature, i'm not a full disclosure kind of person. often, i prescribe to minimum disclosure. nothing much i can really do about it. heard from hm that i should not force myself in this kind of thing. sometimes, i really wish i can give myself the chance that i deserve, by just trusting the people around me. i don't think i can do that anymore, except for a few close friends to my heart. =)

sigh. study hard for the exams everyone!