Sometimes, I wonder if I'm suffering from depression. Seems like a mild form of depression. Alone, I feel so down and lack the motivation to do anything. I used to love cooking. Right now, even though, I know that I am able to cook today, I just lack the push to do it. I attribute it to being tired. Deep down inside, I know that is not the truth. Simply I lack the motivation to do it.
In front of others, I'm pretty much myself. Have been trying to hint to hubby. Asking him, Do you feel like I'm down? He says no. Not sure if he doesn't want to face the truth, or I have been thinking too much.
sighs, this has been going on for a month. i think it started when i missed my monthlies, and did the test. sighs.
who says starting a family is easy? it doesn't really help if the whole world is asking me about it. I can't blame them, can I? They do not know what is happening and its unfair for me to vent it on them. How bad it is? Sighs, i see children and wish that i have mine.
i have told myself that i cannot give up. some couples have been trying for years, and me? just months. however, this life test or journey is not easy. it affects the relationship between husband and wife, and also personal relationships with other people.
sighs.... have entrust myself to God, as always. i guess, i will know when God determine when I'm ready. have faith. that is the most important thing of all. :)
