first and foremost, after much heart-wrenching waits, i've gotten the call that i wanted. i've never ever wanted a call so much in my entire life. it meant even much more to me than waiting for someone. since i've not much choices, i have to make do with this one. it's not a bad choice. on hindsight, not getting the other offer may just be a blessing in disguise. God has His plans for me all along. =) Thank you.

it's really amusing and interesting to notice how people who have everything that they want really take things for granted. can't blame them really. who wouldn't want to always think that things are better on the other side? ain't that what motivates people to a higher goal? these people also tend to find faults with most things, for reasons that i cannot fathom. well, finding unhappiness with things, is it also another way to motivate themselves to find a higher goal? the question that i want to ask them is "are you happy?" more often then not, they'll tell u that they are. i believe them. the irony is, is they are so, why are they constantly complaining, seeking for greener pastures, and not contented? i don't agree that we should live in contentment and not improve ourselves when we can. i just don't understand the constant disatisfaction. it really is a thin line between the two, ain't it? i'm just an observer.

matters of the heart is the most difficult issue of all. no matter how determined we are, how strong we are, it just never ain't enough. to u: hope the pain tides over soon and u'll find the happiness u deserve soon :)

exams are finally over! instead of feeling the euphoria that most feel, i'm still feeling my usual oh yeah, another phase it's over. well, but i'm oh so happy that i don't have to open another textbook! so now, just waiting for the results. still praying that i don't fail one of the modules. sigh. oh well.

interviews are here. i really wanna go kpmg, but they didn't select me. what can i do? life is really like that, if u ain't got the goods, u ain't got nothing. but, i'm rather optimistic i think? pissed with jy today. what does she mean by "i give kpmg's chance to u"? fuck. u mean i have to depend on u to get my job? on hindsight, i don't think she literally means that, but what the fuck, she offended me. and rather seriously. perhaps, she should learn to think through that thick head (apparently it's full of intellect, since she got all the interviews, like i fucking care) of hers before she says anything. and i remember i told a friend before, i fight for the things i care about, and i guess, i don't care about her views fucking enough to scold her. life's really complexing.

went kbox with yoke today. make me sing so much. no voice already! :)

i must practise my piano real hard! hopefully, i can improve lots this hols. the only sane thing, besides GOD (rank 1st), that keeps me from breaking apart at the practical world.

enjoy all i can now.

right now, trying to study for my jap and business valuation. sigh, suddenly, am panicking, might not be able to finish studying!!! haha, hopefully, i can finish studying. :)

ps, enjoy yourself in canada! :) upload loads of photos! :) talk to u soon :P

sometimes, i wonder if i do think too much about certain things. i try not to put everything in a bad light, but negative thoughts do surround me when it comes to this. i have been complaining a lot about this recently, poor sis. haha.

have u ever wondered if u have been used by someone? i try not to think of it that way, yet, this naggy feeling will come back. most of the time, everyone is practical, making friends because they have certain value, making friends because they are of use to u, making friends for many reasons, but none so for the purpose of just making friends. well, that's just my personal experience. have been thinking alot about these things recently, admist my studying that is. haha. sigh, why can't life be simple? really yearn for things simple, whereby academic stuff doesn't take over and corrupt everything simple. who am i kidding? past the academic stuff, it'll be working life. another competition of another level will take place once again. does it ever stop? perhaps when we die...

my cousins didn't do well for their PSLE. move on!

study hard from now on! :)

first and foremost, one paper down! was feeling quite restless when studying for that paper. well, the fate will be out in a month's time. *fingers-crossed*

it's nice talking to u again ps. hope that things turn out alright for u. none of us wants to be caught in that kind of situation. take care :)

suddenly, at a loss for words. more often lately, i find myself grasping for things to talk about. is it that there are lesser problems nowadays that require less thoughts to be revealed? haha, which is good in a way. perhaps, more blogging mood after exams!

jiayou in studying to all! :)

soulmate - natasha bedingfield

i really love this song. :) it really speaks the soul of a single woman. :)

all the presentations are finally over! i'm so glad. kind of disappointed at my presentation today. i didn't really put in the effort to try and present well. don't understand this kind of attitude i have. sigh. somehow, the content doesn't really want to stay with me. excuses i guess. also, the tutor's attitude plays a major role too. he is not even concentrating much on the presentation. well, anyway, it's over, so really glad of it.

went to watch stardust today. it's a very nice movie! i love those fairytale kind of movies. it takes the realism out of the practical world, allowing me to indulge in my childhood fantasies of princes, stars and witches. it's been a really long time since i last watched a movie! enjoyed it very much with my younger sis...!

i hate it when in a group, u treat me not very nice. when we are alone, u treat me very nice. what game are u playing at? it's irritating me very much so. in any ways, i shall not be very nice. what are u trying to prove? hiding? it's none of my business. so stop playing games with me, i have no patience for u.

after spending a considerable amount of time with a group of females, it's been a little tiring i must say. i think, i'm much better at one-to-one. haha.

ok, hopefully, tomorrow's jap oral will be a pass, with FLYING colours!

pre-exam

the world is really a practical one. in order to get something, we must give something back. it's been a long time that i've seen a situation where the giving is voluntary. perhaps, this is a little extreme. sometimes, the other person just wants to return the favour. in reality, nothing is ever free. the cynical me always want to seek for perfection, and when i can't, cynicism overtakes me, and i'm left to speculate on the selfishness of human beings. this culture and mindset has been repeated into my mind since young. and, i've never stop to think of whether is this right or wrong? i've just been taught to repay anything given, not to take anything for free. but, is the world really like this? i wonder....

have you ever been really disappointed in a person? this often happens when expectations have been building up by you towards a person. whenever we tell ourselves not to develop expectations towards another, we have already broken this rule. i'm glad, that, i have no more chance to be disappointed in you anymore.

exams are really just around the corner. hopefully, this time, can do much better than previous semesters. i want to give myself a chance to do well, at least, see how much i can go by putting in the effort. i have to learn to work under pressure, instead of running away as i often do. it's really a bad habit. i will admit defeat if i don't do well, at least, i have achieved my potential? haha.

sometimes, i just wish that the wound in my heart will close once and for all. by nature, i'm not a full disclosure kind of person. often, i prescribe to minimum disclosure. nothing much i can really do about it. heard from hm that i should not force myself in this kind of thing. sometimes, i really wish i can give myself the chance that i deserve, by just trusting the people around me. i don't think i can do that anymore, except for a few close friends to my heart. =)

sigh. study hard for the exams everyone!