really tired today... felt very drained.... today is convocation day, finally, the day where i can wear the "four-sided" hat and feel proud of myself. somehow, i'm rather neutral about it. my spirits were lifted mildly when i went to cut my hair, iron my clothes, getting ready. the feeling of rejoice only hit me when i saw hm and hq, where we really took funny pics... haha, and saw some familiar faces which lighted up my day....

all in all, thoughts of finally being able to wear the hat.

i don't know, simply. it signifies another phase of my life. my career. if only i'm walking into a path where i know i'll be happy, probably, i feel more alive by it. nothing is certain, what makes me think that this current path i've chosen will not make me happy? because, i guess, people makes a big difference. i was just looking back into my university life, wondering what happy memories i have, and it took me quite a while to conjure up a satisfying picture. was i asking to much? or have i not grown up to accept the nasty of reality? perhaps, from all the things i think that makes me unhappy, my expectations were too high, those things doesn't make me unhappy, i was looking for far too much?

but then, it didn't really take much for me to answer what makes my uni life so memorable. the people i meet, definitely. internship was a very fun and happy time for me. meeting down-to-earth people, though very little, makes me feel as though all is not lost in the process of growing up and acknowledging realities of life.

seeing different people today brings back different memories and thoughts. primary sch friends, sec sch friends, jc friends and uni friends. some ppl come back with different status. oh wells, seeing more couples does make me feel a little lonely. and this also signifies acknowledging that things are gonna change drastically soon. i really feel old. oh wells, everything is in God's hands.

sometimes i wonder, what others really think of me. have not been thinking about that in a long time. the introvert me will always be taken over in social events. i've become very bubbly and cheerful. not that it's bad, sometimes, people will think u are being fake by over-reacting. saw it in an episode of ANTM cycle 10. thinking about it, it's gonna be more tiring when working. caring so much about how others see me, makes life seems so mundane and meaningless. living for others. ugh....

anyway, happy bday mom! hope u like the fish & co dinner!

gonna start work in 2 weeks :( hope that the overtly pessimistic me has been thinking too much negative thoughts. things will always turn out for the better!

post pics after sis is done....!