today started off sleepy. i've purposely slept early, yet, still felt so sleepy. really wondering how am i gonna adapt when work starts :( sighs. many readings await me, but, i still can't get the drive and motivation to start reading them.

went to vch to catch a pianist, Christoper Taylor performing Goldberg Variations, BWV 988 by Bach. it was a wonderful peace. the theme resonate throughout the whole performance, and it was splendid. the second one wasn't so wonderful. perhaps, i need to learn to appreciate a seemingly calm variation without many changes in between. nevertheless, it has sparked off my interest and also motivation to go to more performances and concerts :)

more often than not, i keep thinking about my future. wondering, what will happen to me. not in the melodramatic sense, rather, do i want to be stuck here, in singapore, never accomplishing my dreams. i also thought of the courage that i need to possess to escape from here. i've never doubted the safeness of my country, my family and friends. but, there seems much to offer in life than staying here. always, the pasture is greener on the other side. but, if i don't venture out, will i ever know that the grass is the greenest in singapore?

i've never ever given you a chance before. however, after i came back from europe, i have been thinking about us, what u say. and i'm starting to care for you, looking forward to chatting with you. things and actions that i've never experience in a while. giving expectations is something that i will never do (once bitten twice shy), but somehow, i'm hopeful once again. hopeful that, perhaps, you can give me the courage to leave here, and pursue my dreams. i'm afraid, i might not have the courage once the expiry date i have given myself arrived.

thoughts. thinking far too much again. has not happened for a long time. good though. i need to think...